Kubuku Rides (This Is It)
By Larry Brown, first published in The Greensboro Review
An alcoholic housewife struggles with her family obligations and her addiction.
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Plot Summary
Angel is a woman with a son named Randy, aged 8, and husband named Alan, aged 31. She also has a severe drinking problem. She is sitting on the couch when Alan returns from work. She had been drinking and she knows Alan is very much against her drinking. She lies to him, telling him she was on her first glass. Alan goes to the kitchen and finds the almost empty bottle. Angel tells him it's an old bottle. Alan says hes going to throw out the bottle and a row erupts. The bottle breaks and slices open Alan’s hand. Angel takes the opportunity to finish her glass. Randy is also present, but Angel does not seem to care. She thinks back to a recent incident. She had been out shopping with her friends and had promised Alan and Randy that she would be at Randy’s Little League game later that day. Angel and her friends stop for a quick drink. Her friends order glasses of wine. Angel orders a rum and coke. Before her friends finish their first glass, she orders another rum and coke. She hopes that because she had finished her first drink so fast and since her friends were so into the gossip, her friends would not notice that she is on her second drink. This turns out to be a false hope as her friends do notice and remind her that she promised to go to the little league game in hopes that Angel will stop drinking. Angel says that she will go after another rum and coke. She and everyone there knows she is lying. Angel keeps drinking, and her friend Sue reminds her again about the game. Angel says she is already late so staying for one more drink would not matter. Sue tries to stop the waitress from serving Angel more drinks to no avail. Sue tries to appeal to Angel to stop drinking, bringing up Randy and Alan. Angel says she knows but does not want to think about it because the truth hurts her. Sue leaves, unable to continue to watch Angel drink. Angel stays for a couple more drinks and at this point, is rather drunk. She notices the waitstaff give her looks and sees that families are beginning to come in for dinner. This pains her so she leaves. She knows that alcohol is having a negative impact on her health. She does not have an appetite, and she knows that Alan is worried about her weight loss. She does not want to go home and face Alan and Randy, especially after missing the game due to drinking. She decides to go by some drinks and drive around to sober up. She does not go to her local liquor store because she’s ashamed of how much she goes there. She goes to a further one and buys some beer and schnapps that she sips as she drives. She is careful to make sure no one is behind her when she takes a drink since she has been arrested twice before for drunk driving. As she drives, she thinks about Randy and Alan. She wants to go home, but knows there is going to be another fight. She recalls a time when it did not used to be like this. She does not know when it became a problem. She knows that Alan used to drink, but is staunchly against it now. He even lost friends because of it. Angel drives to a boat ramp where she passes out in a drunken stupor. She is startled awake by a high school boy tapping on her window, who asks if she is alright. She hurriedly leaves and the boys follow. The sleep sobered her up so she looks to the back to grab another beer. She runs off the road into a tree. The boys see this and call for help. Her boss calls Angel while she’s in the hospital, wondering when she would be able to come back into work. Angel does not commit to an answer and her boss lets her go. Alan just looks at her when this happens and recoils from her touch. This goes until the day where he cuts open his hand on the broken bottle. Alan is smoking again. He had quit two years ago saying it was the hardest thing he had ever done. Angel knows that she caused this. She does not drink in front of Alan anymore. He thinks the house is alcohol-free, but she has many hiding spots. She hears Alan crying. She wants to go comfort him and make promises to change, but both of them know that her promises are empty. There is no trust between them anymore. Alan tells her he is going to bed and asks her to come with him. Angel says that she’ll be up later. Angel knows that she should go up to bed with him. She knows that she’ll have the house to herself for the majority of the day tomorrow anyway. But she does not go to bed with him. Alan looks aged as he goes to bed alone. Angel waits, thinking that Alan was listening to her movements from the room. She waits 30 minutes and peaks in on him in the room, wondering if he is actually asleep. She tells herself she will try harder tomorrow and goes to find the checkbook to go buy some beer. She tries to sneak off in the car, but the ignition wakes Alan, who comes out to the porch in his underwear. She tells him she’s just going to the store. Alan says he does not care where she’s going as long as she comes back. He does not even care if she drinks, as long as she comes home. As she leaves, she sees her home and feels good knowing that she owns all of it.
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