Berkshire Comedy
By Allan Seager, first published in Story Magazine
After a bartender falls into a ditch on her walk home, a shy bar patron walks her home every night and feelings begin to develop between them.
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Plot Summary
The spring night after Skinner fell in the ditch, the courtship between her and Jack. The landlord, George, opens the door of the Greyhound and watches the workmen pass while his wife, Mrs. George, gets ready upstairs. They are over sixty years old and so is Skinner, who limps up the road a little after six. Skinner lives in a little cottage and grows crops and cares for her animals. After her husband died in an alley in Dublin, she is a widow.
By 6:30, all the farmers and laborers have gathered and some play dominoes and some sit and talk. Chris, the cuckold, comes in for his nightly pint and the other men make fun of him behind his back because his wife is unfaithful. Some of the younger men ask about his wife, who is very beautiful. After Chris leaves, Mrs. George joins the wives in the parlor to avoid the rude discussion that would follow. The women discuss how the Chrises’ son warns his mother’s lover, who they call Creepy Parry, when Chris is coming home. The wives envy Mrs. Chris who stays young and happy while they grow old and shriveled. Skinner scolds the men for being rude to Creepy and says they all know they would cheat on their wives with Mrs. Chris if given the chance. She asks why none of them want her and they laugh and turn back to their games when Creepy comes in.
At 10 o’clock, George kicks everyone out of the bar except for the residents and he and Mrs. George set the table for dinner while Skinner washes pint cups at the bar. Skinner tells Jack to get his feet out of her way. Jack is a 65-year-old Greyhound regular who barely speaks who does some of the yard work around the inn in exchange for bread and cheese, beer, and a pallet in the shed behind. After midnight when they all go to bed, Skinner staggers home and slips and falls into muddy water in the ditch near the policeman’s house. The next day, she tells everyone at the bar about the incident and the next night Jack walks with her silently. Every night after, he walks her home, only speaking to warn her about the edge of the road and to say goodnight at her cottage door. One night, Skinner challenges Jack to darts and says that if he wins he can marry her. Jack trembles with shyness as he aims and he loses and so she challenges him to dominoes and lets him win. Skinner declares that the wedding would be the day after Feast Day.
They marry in the Greyhound and that night they stagger down the road to her cottage. Jack tells her he can’t go through with the marriage because he worries she’ll cheat on him like Mrs. Chris does. Skinner walks away angrily and Jack watches her go and limps back to the pub. In her cottage, Skinner lights a candle and thinks about the wickedness of men, but then she laughs when she realizes that Jack thinks she’s beautiful enough to get as many men as Mrs. Chris.