They Told Us Not to Say This
By Jenn Alandy Trahan, first published in Harper's Magazine
A Filipino-American woman reflects on her high school experience in the 1960s and the impact that a charismatic white boy had on her and her friends.
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A Filipino-American revisits her memories from the year 1966. She reflects on growing up as a Filipino girl amidst society’s race and gender expectations. She describes the challenges of being raised in a family that prized sons over daughters, compared their girls to white beauty standards, and distanced themselves from their mother tongue. In her memories, she focuses on Brent Zalesky, a white boy admired for his basketball skills, and reflects on his relationship with her Filipino-American friend, Marorie. Their relationship influenced the rest of the girls in the community and inspired the girls to defy the beauty, race, and gender expectations their parents had for them. Brent’s appreciation of the Filipino singer Jocelyn Enriquez lead the girls to reconnect with Tagalog and find pride in their culture. Eventually, the girls picked up basketball, and the sport helped the girls learn to love themselves and ignore the judgment and prejudice of their white peers.
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