The Middle Drawer
By Hortense Calisher, first published in The New Yorker
A woman cleans out her dead mother's drawer while she reflects on her mother's life and their relationship.
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Plot Summary
Hester cleans out a drawer belonging to her recently deceased mother and reminisces about the items inside. She remembers the sunburst pin, which used to belong to her grandmother, that her mother gave her when she was in college. Hester finds a family photograph that she had never seen before in the back of the drawer. She remembers how, when her step-grandmother came to the U.S. as a refugee from Hitler's regime, Hedwig (Hester's mother) had urged Hester to visit the step-grandmother. Hester refused, because Hedwig's childhood hadn't been easy with Hester's step-grandmother. Hester reflects on her own mother's lack of open affection during her childhood, but remembers one night after a shopping trip in New York with her mother very fondly. Though Hedwig immigrated to the United States when she was sixteen, Hester is unable to find a passport in the drawer. Hester remembers a fight the two women had in which Hedwig claimed that Hester was too much of a reader and dreamer to be successful, and Hester responded that all Hedwig cared about was making money. Hester then recalls a moment that occurred much more recently, when the two women lay together on Hedwig's bed. Hedwig had just gotten an X-ray at the hospital, and asked Hester if she wanted to see the surgery that had just been done on her breast. Hester agreed, and found herself physically reacting to and feeling what her mother felt. Hester realizes that, although she and her mother never would have fully connected, she understands her mother now, and feels a deeper connection to this drawer that holds the memories of both women's lives.