A Shadow Table
By Alice Fulton, first published in Tin House
A Polish immigrant feels her mind slipping away, as her surroundings and even her own body seem unfamiliar. After she's diagnosed with Alzheimers, she reflects on the importance of her memories and her past.
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Plot Summary
Katya fled Eastern Europe and came to Brooklyn in the war-era at age thirteen. Now, she is a successful, retired septuagenarian. She and her husband, Joe, both struggle with the realities of old age. One morning, she wakes up and cannot remember where she put her glasses. Without them, she is lost. Joe comes home to her rescue and finds her lying on the floor aimlessly. There is a hole in the ceiling of Joe and Katya's house--their home crawls with workmen scrambling to solve the problem. Katya quotes a Russian neurologist and fades in and out of English and Polish. She finds herself studying her hands. She remembers how she used to use them to illustrate books for Jewish folktales. Katya's house is filled with treasures she collected from various countries: a letter addressed to her hometown in Poland--which no longer exists--and other sentimental objects. She likes to enchant her grandchildren with stories about the objects during Passover. Katya reveals that one day a year prior, Joe found the checkbook. Katya always did the bills. To his surprise, their finances were in utter disarray. He was shocked. Joe realized his wife needed help. Later, Katya finds herself at the osteopath after a bad fall and she questions whether the doctor is Jewish; she would never entrust a gentile with her health. She begins preparations for her family's Passover seder. Everything must be perfect. She wants her family to remember it all. She showcases a photograph of her on the boat from Poland to the U.S. just before occupation. She recounts how New York welcomed her in her youth. The seder runs smoothly. Katya is grateful for her grandchildren. No one at the Seder mentions the gaping hole in the ceiling; Katya is relieved. She ultimately ponders: "who will remember?"