A Russian Idyll
By Frederic Prokosch, first published in The Virginia Quarterly Review
A Russian man recalls the first time he fell in love.
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Plot Summary
A Russian man named Alexi stares out of the window at a church covered in snow and ice, and he suddenly remembers summer clouds and wheat fields from years before, when he lived at a farm near Dolya. When Alexei was ten, one of the harvesters beckoned to him and said he would show him something. The harvester took Alexei to look in a hole in the door of the woodshed, where Alexei saw his cousin kissing and entangled with an officer who had been around the town lately. He had not understood what was happening, but after that, everything took on new significance for him, like the silky hair of the women. A few years later, he sat next to a girl named Anna in the field. Not long after, he sat next to Anna again in the back of a hay cart. Anna turned to the side, and Alexei kissed her cheek. Six or seven years later in the summer, Alexei saw the most beautiful woman he had ever seen behind the Semenenko estate. She wore a pink hat and a white dress. She did not see him at first, but she smiled faintly when she did, and he thought that her gaze was lovely. Alexei saw her a few more times, and learned that she was a distant Austrian cousin to Madame Semenenko, named Maria. A few days later, he saw her sitting next to a tree. He wanted to speak to her, but did not. However, when he passed, her eyes had met his own in friendly recognition, and he was overjoyed. A few days later, Alexei was sent to the Sememenko estate with a basket of cherries for Madame Semenenko. He was led into the hall, and as he waited, he saw artwork of naked women and men with goat legs. The room seemed strange and exciting. The door opened, and Maria appeared. Alexei mumbled an explanation about the cherries, and Maria took the basket, blushing and said to come again soon. For the rest of the summer, Alexei and Maria would walk along the courtyard together. They would creep into the old summer house and tell each other tales. One time Maria fell asleep, and Alexei kissed her cheek and thought that he was in love. Everything took on new meaning to Alexei, and even the leaves looked different. September and October passed, and Alexei's lightheartedness turned to uncertainty and jealousy. One time he and Maria quarreled about nothing. He was full of despair after, and he crept around to the big white house that night and stood outside of her window. He saw her sitting by a table, turning through a photograph album. At one page a dead flower fell out, and Alexei felt a twinge of grief thinking about Maria's past loves and how little one could possess another. He threw a twig at the window and called to Maria, and she smiled and helped him inside. Alexei was relieved and happy that she was being so kind to him. Alexei wanted to say he loved her, but he did not. When he walked home, he felt unbelievably happy and inexplicably sad at the same time. Two mornings later, Maria left Dolya. She hardly seemed to notice Alexei at all when she left. Maria was going back to Carinthia to marry the son of the mayor of Villach. Alexei ran to the old summer house and felt too helpless to even cry. He never saw Maria again, and all he had to remember her by was a small portrait she had given him. He wore it on a string around his neck, until he was teased by his friends. Then, he kept it in his pocket, where he would reach to feel it twenty times a day. He could not bring himself to look at it, and he felt longing and sadness even long after.