Helping
By Robert Stone, first published in The New Yorker
A counselor breaks his sobriety streak after several meetings with a frustrating client. After arguing with his wife while drunk, the counselor begins to feel murderous and must fight his violent urges to earn back her trust.
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Despite mental triggers and difficult times, Elliot remains sober with the help of Alcoholics Anonymous. However, his sober streak soon breaks upon his meeting with Blankenship, one of his clients at the state hospital. He is supposed to serve as Blankenship’s counselor, but he struggles because he knows Blankenship to be a liar and a petty thief. Blankenship claims to have had a fearful dream about the Vietnam War, and Elliot argues with him because he knows that Blankenship has never even set foot in Vietnam and has thus appropriated the condition of a war veteran. Elliot cannot help but internally rage at Blankenship’s misappropriation of “someone else’s dream" afterwards, during his solitary lunch in the cafeteria and back in his cubicle. Elliot leaves work early and drives to the library. He talks to the librarian, Candace Music, a close friend. They briefly have coffee together. However, Elliot still feels discontent and tells Candace that he must get going. He then drives to the Midway package store, buys himself a bottle of scotch, and heads to the tavern. When he gets home, his wife Grace notes his slurred speech and whiskey breath and cries. When Elliot shows little guilt and tells Grace that he cannot control the situation, Grace becomes distressed and throws a glass bowl at him. Their arguing continues to escalate until the phone rings, and Grace’s disrespectful client demands Elliot to hand the phone over to his wife. Elliot refuses to do so and fights back at the client, who threatens to come for Grace for almost breaking up his family. Elliot prepares by loading his shotgun. Grace feels sick and gives up on reasoning with Elliot, while telling him that she cannot deal with him anymore. Elliot falls asleep. The next day, Elliot goes outside in the cold snow with the shotgun. He runs into Loyall Anderson, their neighbor, whose high morality and disapproval of guns bothers Elliot. The men have a passive-aggressive conversation full of tension and Elliot excuses himself to walk back to his house. He sees a pheasant on the way and fails to hit it. In the window outside his house he sees Grace in the bedroom hugging herself. Immediately, he craves forgiveness and realizes that he loves his wife.
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