How to Become a Robot in 12 Easy Steps
By A. Merc Rustad, first published in Scigentasy
An asexual woman with a gay fake boyfriend falls in love with a robot. She debates whether to reveal this to him even as she struggles with depression and longs to become a robot herself.
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Plot Summary
Tesla, an asexual woman, plans to ask out a service industry robot. She ponders how to tell her fake boyfriend, Jonathan (who is gay and not out to his family yet), that she is in love with a robot, but decides this is not socially acceptable because "everyone knows you can’t be in love with a robot." Just as she is about to ask the robot out, Jonathan shows up to take her to a party. She struggles with social interaction at the party, and afterwards, Jonathan tells her he's seeing a guy named Bernardo. Tesla is glad for him, but also upset because she still doesn't know how to tell him she's in love with a robot and wishes to become a robot herself. The next day, she goes to try to ask the robot out again, but finds that it has been replaced with a newer model. She rushes to the recycling center and buys the broken robot. Bernardo, who used to be an engineer, helps her get started with fixing it, and tells her the technology for uploading human consciousness into a robot body is still a long way out. Tesla's depression grows, and she finds that saving the robot is the only reason she has to get up in the mornings. She struggles with suicidal ideation, which gets worse after visiting her intolerant parents. Meanwhile, Jonathan and Bernardo offer support. Tesla fixes the robot and it tells her she should not electrocute herself and that it would like to get to know her. Tesla reflects that she although she cannot become a robot yet, she wants to live long enough that she can someday.
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